Dear Debra:
Is it appropriate to use Facebook to send a thank you note? I recently gave my friend’s daughter a generous gift to celebrate a big event in her life, and was surprised when I received a message from her via Facebook. Am I wrong to feel wronged?
Sincerely, Feeling Unfriended
Dear Unfriended:
Here’s the long answer to your question:
NO!
Here’s the short answer to your question:
NO!
Funny that you used the phrase “thank you note” when posing your question. Last time I checked, a message on Facebook does not even come close to qualifying as a note. I am sorry that your thoughtful gift received an unthoughtful response. Social media has allowed a lapse in judgment for many. It is so, so, so not okay to acknowledge a gift via Facebook or any other social media site. A handwritten note is and always will be the appropriate (and kind) way to recognize someone’s generosity.
I will concede that letting the gift giver know that gift was received via email or text is ok if thank you notes cannot happen in the imminent future. For example, a gift to a new mother, a gift to someone being deployed, or a gift given to an ill friend may not be recognized immediately with a handwritten note.
A simple: “Camilla! Thank you for the darling blue blanket for George! We are in the throes of diaper duty and redecorating the palace, but I wanted to reach out to you and let you know we received your gift. Thank you notes to come soon! Cheerio, PK.”
Handwritten notes don’t need to be long – and they certainly don’t need to be perfect. Jot a quick line on your personal stationary, a postcard or even the back of your baby announcement to acknowledge a gift, and consider your job done: “Dear Princess Beatrice – thank you for the gorgeous selection of hats you sent for George! He is sure to make the Most Fashionable Baby list very soon; and bunk that little Suri Cruise and the Jolie-Pitt kids down a notch or two. So looking forward to seeing you at the next cricket match. Off to whip up some fish and chips for Wills. Thanks again! Love, PK.”
